Dating Tips for Shy Guys – Overcome Your Fears and Find Your Perfect Match

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Feeling nervous about dating? Our expert tips for shy guys will help you build confidence and make a lasting impression.

Finding the right partner is difficult for everyone, particularly for shy men who struggle to overcome their fear of going out on a date with someone they really like.

Contrary to the typically self-assured image of most men, some guys feel completely different, making it challenging for them to interact with others. It becomes worse if it’s about beginning a relationship.

Perhaps they’ve had a streak of instances where they disguised their emotions until it was too late, were speechless when speaking to someone they were interested in, or were repeatedly rejected. 

The good news is that being shy doesn’t have to interfere with your dating life or prevent you from meeting a wonderful partner. Shyness may actually be your greatest strength at times! All you have to do is figure out how to put it to use.

I’m here to help you with that, so read on!

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12 Expert Dating Tips for Shy Guys

dating tips for introverted men

Don’t Idealize Women

I bet you’re not shy when speaking to your sister, mother, or other female relatives or friends. So despite what you may believe, you’re not shy among women. But what makes you shy around girls you’re attracted to, then?

The problem is you hold them to unattainable standards, thinking of them as some ethereal beings who will eat you up the moment you approach them. 

The truth is, they are just normal human beings who also fear being rejected and who might be shy, the same as you. Remember, women are, like everyone else, imperfect in some way. Realizing this and taking them off the pedestal will make you relaxed and less shy.

Be mindful of your body language 

Sometimes, if words can’t express what you’re feeling and thinking, your body can. That’s why body language plays a huge part in appearing and feeling confident. 

Examine yourself by looking in the mirror. This may feel weird, but it will be worthwhile! If you think you need to look more approachable, try smiling at yourself in the mirror. 

Being and feeling confident also involves having good posture. If you’re slouching, practice proper posture. And also, remember to maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking to.

Women are quite observant, so they can tell if you’re confident or not simply by observing your body language and facial expressions.  

Take care of your body

Being less shy has a lot to do with how you feel in your body. Also, it has a lot to do with how other people perceive you. Unfortunately, many guys tend to overlook taking care of their bodies.

Let me be clear here; you don’t need expensive clothes, bigger muscles, or a face of a Greek god. These won’t get you the woman of your dreams. But women like to see guys who take care of themselves. By making an effort to look nice, you will demonstrate to her that you’re prepared to go to great lengths to take care of her as well. A decent haircut, well-fitting clothing, a tamed beard, and good perfume will do wonders for your confidence!

Give online dating a chance

Giving online dating a try could be useful if you are having problems meeting people naturally. Online dating offers many advantages, but you’ve probably avoided it because you think it’s impersonal and takes the spark out of meeting someone. We have recently reviewed the best dating sites for introverted and shy people.

The perk here that will make shy people happy is that you don’t actually need to go outdoors to meet new people. And you get to let your guard down and be who you truly are. You don’t even have to initiate the conversation since there are girls on these dating platforms who are not shy to do so. 

Practice small talk

Small talk may be anything from tedious to excruciatingly embarrassing, especially at the beginning of a relationship when awkward silences tend to occur. You should keep in mind that those pauses are completely normal. However, if they happen too frequently and make you uneasy, don’t fret. You can always make small talk – and it doesn’t have to be boring. 

While there are various methods to practice, speaking with strangers is the most successful. You may even give flirting a go. You don’t need to look for anyone specific to talk to; it may be the person sitting next to you on your commute. The goal here is for you to become comfortable chit-chatting with strangers.

Make friends with those who are more social than you

Dating Tips for Shy Guys - Overcome Your Fears and Find Your Perfect Match 1

Whether or not you are aware of it, your friends have a significant influence on you. If every member of your friend group is similarly reserved, you may need to broaden your social circle.

You’ll unconsciously feel more at ease if you’re around outgoing friends. In addition, you won’t have to perform all the work of approaching girls and striking up a conversation. You’ll also quickly discover that the charm and self-assurance of your outgoing friends are rubbing off on you. In such circumstances, you will be compelled to break out of your shell!

Change your perspective on rejection

Unfortunately, it is very much a given that you will go through rejection when seeking romantic relationships. Despite this, you shouldn’t let your fear of rejection cause you to remain confined to your comfort zone. 

Rather than withdrawing out of fear, you just have to learn to use it as an opportunity for growth and see it as a chance to establish a deeper and more mutual relationship. 

In the end, it’s not even about you when someone rejects you. Either it’s about her, or it’s about the way you approached her. And don’t worry if you adopted the incorrect strategy since that implies it is not personal. She doesn’t actually know you, after all.

Apply the 10-second rule

There is only one thing that separates you from securing a date with your crush – a daring ten seconds. To start a conversation, introduce yourself, or even ask someone out, it usually takes ten seconds or less. The other factors, such as if they are in the mood or had a rough day, are out of your control. 

If approaching a stranger is intimidating and asking them out seems unattainable, keep in mind that all it takes is ten seconds of courage!

Accept your shyness

As long as being shy doesn’t harm your life and relationships, you don’t need to remove yourself from it. For some ladies, shyness is actually rather endearing. Even though it shouldn’t prevent you from making genuine relationships, a bit of shyness could make you more appealing to them.

So rather than using your introverted personality as a crutch, wear it with pride and sprinkle enough self-assurance to get the ideal balance. Building on that fantastic foundation and becoming comfortable and secure in who you are will let ladies see how great you are. Stay true to yourself, and be genuine and sincere.

If you are also introverted, then read this guide: Dating for Introverted Guys.

Continue to pursue your passions

When we do what makes us happy and spend time doing what we enjoy, we’ll immediately become more appealing to others around us. And because we’re completely engrossed in what we’re doing, we won’t feel shy at any of those times. 

If you engage in activities that you enjoy and are enthusiastic about, you’ll be at your most assured. The same goes for dating.

The best way to manage your shyness and feel more at ease is to keep up your favorite hobby. What’s more, by choosing shared hobbies, you may also find a method to incorporate this into your dates and make them more enjoyable.

Concentrate on you

Instead of making advances to girls right now, try focusing on what makes you happy without being in a relationship. As you gain self-assurance in other non-romantic domains, it will carry over to your love life as well.

Do whatever it takes to bring yourself to the point where approaching a woman you like doesn’t feel so intimidating. 

Fake it till you make it

The majority of guys are actually shy to their core. They just hide it very well – and you, too, can succeed. Just pretend to be confident until it actually happens.

Are You Ready to Date as a Shy Guy?

Remember that regardless of how shy or afraid you may feel, you are still a wonderful person with enormous potential. There is nothing inherently wrong with a shy guy being single, so there should be no pressure to force yourself out of it!

Markus is a relationship/dating expert and the editor-in-chief of DatingInspector.com. He first tried online dating in the 90s and now has more than 20 years of dating and relationship experience with women from all over the world. After so many years on the online dating scene, he decided to help other men find casual dates or true love online by sharing his top dating tips.

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