Are you struggling with making meaningful connections online because you’re too shy?
I’m glad you’re here!
When I first started online dating, I was a very shy guy too. In fact, it was almost impossible for me to make the first move and message a girl I liked.
Sometimes, it was just because I lacked the confidence to do so. Other times, the site I was browsing was too “advanced” or more geared towards short flings than real relationships.
Fortunately, times have changed, and a new wave of alternative dating sites has emerged. Among those, there are some excellent dating sites for shy people!
In this article, I am reviewing the best introvert dating sites of the moment.
1. eHarmony – Best Introvert Dating App
eHarmony has earned a reputation for finding genuine people thanks to its RelyID process that mandates accurate member details. It has a high percentage of long-term matchmaking, often culminating in marriage.
Its member count is in the region of 66 million spread across 200 countries, with 29 million+ members from the United States itself. The gender distribution is nearly even (53:47 in favor of males). Given the effort they put in verifying genuine members, a weekly member activity of 16 million gives users a wide range of choices.
The website believes in delving deep into the personality of its members to find suitable matches for them, making it a popular dating website for introverts. You are required to answer a detailed questionnaire designed around 29 dimensions of compatibility, which explains the high percentage of long-term relationships.
Though there is a free version, we strongly recommend paid membership to make the most out of its rich features. A one-month membership costs $59.95, but an annual subscription reduces the monthly cost to $19.95.
Although eHarmony is more expensive than other dating websites, given the fact that a member cannot initiate a conversation until his/her identity is accurately established, we’d say it is worth the money. Introverts looking for a reliable shy dating site are going to love it!
- Top-level security and privacy features
- Personality based matchmaking
- Known for long-term relationships and marriages
- Diverse member profile
- Healthy gender ratio
- Genuine profiles, courtesy RelyID
We Don’t Like
- Cannot search for specific profiles
- Long sign-up process
- Expensive compared to other dating sites
2. Friend Finder – 2nd Best Introvert Dating Site
This offering from the FriendFinder group caters to a diverse audience in terms of genders and sexual orientation. It is a fun dating site for shy guys, bringing together the casual element of social networking and matchmaking of dating sites. It mostly attracts members looking for short term flings.
It has an active user base of over two million, with half of them being paid members. This is a rich pool that accepts users with different orientations and preferences. A majority of users are in their 30s and 40s, mostly seeking fun company and casual sex.
There are rules in check to keep out scammers, though some of them still slip through. The good thing is that the registration process is short, and you can complete it in only five minutes.
Basic information like gender, location, email, username, and marital status is required. Even if you are looking for a casual fling, do consider filling up your bio to convey some information about your personality.
The messaging feature is not the best we have seen and is restricted to paid members only. Free members can still browse profiles and send winks or flirts to express their interest.
- Large user base
- Quick registration
- Welcomes diversity
- Only approved profiles can join chat groups
We Don’t Like
- Dominated by male members
- Inactive forums and blog
- Only paid members can send/receive messages
3. Flirt – Best Dating Site For Shy Guys
Launched in 2009, Flirt.com is a reasonably new dating site that has gained popularity for finding fun company and casual flings. The site is positioned as a flirting platform and comes as a blessing for reserved users looking for an introvert dating site.
There are over a million users spread across the world, but at 300,000+ strong, the core user base is in the United States. In what will please men no end, the gender ratio of 60:40 is pleasantly tilted in favor of women.
New users can register and get started in just a couple of minutes. All you need to do is verify your email and enter minimal details. The downside is that this ease gets exploited by non-serious users. Winks (free) and messages (paid) are the two ways to contact other members.
Flirt monitors the activity on its platform and warns you when you are in touch with a user under observation, which is a welcome security feature.
Women used to have free access to all features of the website, but they rolled it back when scammers started taking advantage of it. Memberships are fairly competitive, starting at $27.30 per month. You can save over 50% by purchasing a 6-month membership for $12.27 per month.
- 60:40 women to men ratio
- Quick sign-up
- Large user base of 1 million+
- Only admin-approved pics allowed
- Telephonic profile verification
- Location-based search
- Anti-scam verification process in place for suspicious members
We Don’t Like
- Profiles lack detail
- Messaging restricted to paid members
4. Adult Friend Finder – Alternative Introvert Dating Site
The site openly invites you to join the world’s largest alternative community. It has gained popularity and earned the reputation of being the world’s most preferred site for one-night stands. Just landing on the site’s home page would convince you that it is for nothing but sex. But who said that introvert are not into sex and hookups!
Its large user base and no-nonsense approach to sex make it a hit amongst dating sites for shy people. There are a staggering 25 million+ site visits a month, and explicit member photographs are not uncommon. The site has clearly put behind its data breach of 2016.
It is the perfect site for users fed up of answering tens of questions and want to get straight down to business. Just enter your intro and email, set your username, password, and get going. It offers many personalization features, and the more you fill up, the better your profile gets. Women even get to enter their cup size! There is a humorously crafted Purity Test and personality test for those interested.
You get to do a lot of stuff as a free member (messaging, email, chat). However, there is a high percentage of paid memberships, and you can very well imagine what all it unlocks! Monthly membership costs $20, and you can save 25% by opting for an up-front annual payment of $180.
- A trusted site with a large user base
- Suited to those looking for casual sex
- Mobile-friendly site
- Facilitates sexual interaction through multiple channels (profile details, blogs, webcams, etc.)
We Don’t Like
- Mostly dominated by male members
- The matching algorithm could be better
- No mobile app
5. Single and Shy
This is by far one of the most eye-catching, straightforward names we have come across among all the dating sites for shy people. It does a good job of bringing together people who are too shy to find other like-minded introverts in person. There are also some very useful resources for those who want to overcome their shyness. The down side is that the user base is quite limited.
In the 12th year of its operations, it might not have the gigantic numbers in terms of the user base. However, its focus on the shy singles has made it very popular amongst nerds and geeks who are not confident of approaching girls/guys in bars and asking for numbers.
The website is easy to register and is clutter-free. It is still evolving, and location-specific search might not work perfectly. It does not ask for your sexuality while signing up, which can lead to some unpleasant experiences. It may not find too many fans within the LGBTQ community either and is focused on traditional dating conventions.
SingleAndShy.com is free to join, but although free membership is OK to test the waters, you will not accomplish much with it. Messaging is absolutely essential for introverts, and only the paid membership has this feature.
Monthly membership costs the standard $29.95, with the annual plan being the best bargain, bringing effective monthly subscription costs down to $11.97.
- Good privacy features
- Free registration
- Focused on introverted users
- The matching algorithm sends preferred matches
- Users can express interest by sending flirts for free
We Don’t Like
- Messaging feature available to paid members only
- Limited user base
- Traditional search (man searching for a woman or vice versa)
6. Introvert Dating Site
Shy people looking for the best dating apps for introverts have another reason to cheer. IntrovertDatingSites.com is another website focused on those who are conservative and reserved by nature and are looking to find partners online. The site shares its database with some other sites, so you might end up connecting with the same people as you previously have on other introvert sites.
Launched in 2013, it is still gaining popularity and has a modern outlook, welcoming straight, gay, and lesbian people alike. Signing up is relatively easy, as the registration form has just six mandatory fields. It has a responsive, clean interface and does not contain adult images upfront, which is a welcome change for people looking for long-term companionship.
Once you post your images here, there is no way to shield them. Therefore, be cautious if privacy and anonymity are high on your priority list. However, there are no security concerns, as all your data (messages exchanged, payment information, etc.) is SSL encrypted.
It requires email verification, and all uploaded pictures are reviewed by moderators to keep out images that are not of real people.
The site lets you try out their 5–day membership plan at only $6.56, which renews automatically if you are not careful. There is a 1-month trial variant available at $45.96, which does not renew on its own.
However, a confusingly priced plan named After Trial Membership ($45.96 per month) renews automatically, as does Premium Subscription starting at $40.49 a month, $62.36 for three months and $131.22 for a year. Canceling these after auto-renewal can be a pain, as you need to do it offline.
- Easy signup
- Priority Listing to promote your profile
- Block annoying members
- Group chat with all online users
- Rich search filters
We Don’t Like
- No mobile app – a disappointment for users looking for dating apps for introverts
- Limited member base
- Part of a network of sites with shared databases
Online Dating Tips for Introverts
Though not restricted to introverts, studies indicate that shy guys feel more inclined to hide some facets of their personality. There is absolutely no pressure to project yourself as an outgoing person.
The excitement of getting a date can be so overwhelming that you might end up writing vague details in your profile. This is a big turn-off and won’t get you any matches, so spend some time filling out details about yourself.
Focus on Personality-Based Dating Apps
Given that you prefer solitude, there might not be a lot to talk about with others in terms of sports, politics, hobbies, etc. This is why you have to go for a website that does detailed personality assessments and then matches you with someone having similar traits.
As an introvert, you are usually uncomfortable when being surrounded by people. And online dating website for introverts will have millions of people like you, which can put you off. But hey, you are not really in front of people, are you? You have no reason to be shy, as nobody is watching you!
Asking a girl/guy out for a drink in person can be really unnerving, can’t it? Online dating websites and apps give you the layer of protection you always wanted. Seize the opportunity and bring out your A-game!
Frequently Asked Questions
💡 How To Deal With Dating As An Introvert?
Introverts can resort to online options to find dates. You can browse thousands of profiles without having to put yourself amongst people. On the other hand, hang out at pubs and cafes with your friends and try initiating a conversation – a simple ‘Hi’ is all it takes!
💡 How To Get A Girlfriend As An Introvert When Dating Sites Don’t Work?
Introverts are known to be intelligent and witty. Use your wit to come up with catchy pick-up phrases. Girls are attracted to guys with intelligence, which works in favor of introverts.
💡 How To Describe Yourself On A Dating Site If You’re An Introvert?
Be honest about yourself and use interesting phrases to state who you are and what you are looking for in your partner.
About the author
Markus is the editor-in-chief of DatingInspector.com. He first tried online dating in the 90’s and now has more than 20 years of dating and relationship experience with women from all over the world. After so many years on the online dating scene, he decided to help other men find casual dates or true love online by sharing his best dating tips.